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| { what i remember }
1.
how sooo early we had to wake up, and how excited we all were. even though i was so tired!
2.
Getting hair done. i was still making a list of things i had forgotten, and the hair people were so
funny, and we had a delicious breakfast (our friend brought it to us.) I was done super quick. This is where i saw jed first--he stopped by to get some breakfast too. Daddy was out to buy
some shoes at walmart (he forgot to get some otherwise) for breakfast too, and then went to put bows on the trees. I let emily go to walmart too, to buy some other stuff. (there were sooo many people who helped me! it was so nice.)
3.
I went to church to get ready! we had to hurry. first thing, i opened all the blinds in the auditorium. It was morning time and i wanted the light to come in! I saw jed again, and made him take his coat off so i wouldnt see him all dressed up either. he told me the three things he was going to remember, (if nothing else--he ended up remembering more after all.) plus, We just had a lovely few moments together.
4.
So many people back where i was getting ready, and it was crazy. Someone made them all leave so i could get dressed with mom and my sister, and then they came back and we all prayed, which was sweet. Then Dad came back to see me, and then we almost cried, but didnt quite, and then we took just a few pictures, and then it was time to go!
5.
I LOVED my flowers. they were fun, and romantic and classic and perfect. they fit in wonderfully.
6.
I had a few minutes all to myself while everyone else was busy walking in and i couldnt be seen yet. I watched the flower girls and ring bearers for a few minutes (so they wouldnt be loud--and they were so cute). i tried to listen to the music (it was beautiful, but darn the semi-soundproof doors) and tried to make sure that i really wanted to get married, and i guess i did. i was actually pretty calm by then, and the whole day. i was really deep-down happy. granted, i was a NERVOUS WRECK for a few weeks previous. but that day, i got over it.
7.
dad came to get me, and i had to get out a little door, and not get my train caught. before the door slammed. Daddy told me a funny story before we walked in (all crying was done the night before, we were pitiful.). We didnt cry the whole time! or, if they did, i didnt know about it, and i was glad, because i wanted a happy wedding!
8.
I couldnt see jed at first. but when i finally could, i couldnt believe the way he was looking at me.
9.
The music was absolutely beautiful. --during the ceremony it was all live. and it was seriously PERFECT. i walked down to this.
even hearing it now makes me catch my breath a little, especially at the end.
10.
i just felt that everyone was so nervous--i could feel it, you know? they were nervous for me and especially daddy. and so when i was walking up on stage, i tripped and couldnt help but laugh out loud. everyone laughed with me, and it was much better! everyone could breathe again.
11.
The sermon was perfect. It was literary and memorable and fit jed and i to a tee. gah. i couldnt get over it.
12.
i couldnt decide if we were supposed to sing or not with everyone. a friend suggest that we just talk in such a way to produce "gentle smiles" i think we did half and half, although i dont know if i remember what we said--probably things along the lines of "can you BELIEVE the number of people here?!" because there were probably 400 people at the wedding proper and about 385 at the reception.
13.
We took communion with our parents. I got too big of a piece of bread on accident and had to chew it for quite some time, it felt like.
14.
it was a perfectly sweet kiss.
14.
the pastor said "WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN TEAR ASUNDER" very well. i always wanted that said in an old-fashioned pastoral booming voice, and he delivered.
15.
We were supposed to walk back down (or up?) the aisle to "How sweet it is to be loved by you." At the rehersal, they played some ridiculous country song about beer and my baby's loving arms. At the wedding, my dad snuck back on stage and they performed a version of how sweet it is LIVE! about halfway down the asile, i came to the realization that it wasnt james taylor singing...it was my...dad?!?!?!!!! i tripped once again trying to see, and trying to show jed and all of that. I'm sure it was halirious. And we went in the hallway, and hugged and squealed and laughed and kissed and then went back to listen more, and i think i cried a little then and laughed and couldnt believe it. it was so sweet, and he (and all the musicians) sounded SO good. i LOVED it. and so did everyone. i had no idea in the slightest.
16.
we had a parade over to the reception place. as dad explained it to everyone: "it was like a funeral, but different!" that meant that we all got in a line, and honked and waved and the like. super fun.
17.
dad had a friend with a 1920s ford that actually ran. jed and i rode in that, but when we went to get in, the groomsmen hadnt put the just married sign on the back yet, so they had to hurry and do that. except it ended up going all the way around the car, except just on the back, and it was kindof halirious. there was no air conditioning in the car, (duh) so it was a toss-up between being cooler, or guarding my hairdo.
18.
the reception was absolutely gorgeous and fun.
there were lots of windows, and lots of light. the food smelled so good (and later, it tasted good.) there were balloons, and cake, and buttons to wear, and little flowers, and happy music. it was, in a word, perfect.
19.
jed and i stood at the door and welcomed/greeted people. i hugged so many people in a row! i couldnt believe some of the people who came from so far away even, and it was so lovely to see so many people whom i loved all at once, and even the doctor who delivered jed. (thats tremont for you). i was dying of heat though, and the line was forever long, and i was so thirsty. finally someone brought me some water, and i was so grateful.
20.
we cut in line (i know!) and got some food. the stuff i had was super good! (eggs, and spicy, cheesy eggs, too. hashbrowns, bacon & sausage, fruit, pastries, french toast-stuff (my favorite), buicuits and gravy. omg.
21.
jed and i had a little table in the middle of everyone. it was up high, and it was hard to get into my chair.
22.
we went the IPOD route for the reception, but i picked all my favorite happy songs. These are the songs i remember hearing: baby, baby (amy grant), strawberry swing (coldplay), all shook up (elvis), glycerine (bush), flowers in the window (travis), and you are my sunshine (bob dylan and johnny cash) and 1234 (feist). but there were more! when you are my sunshine came on, dad was just like "what the heck is this?!" and jed passed all blame onto me. oh well. how can you go wrong with bob & johnny?! i didnt apologize. i still dont. the whole thing was quite happy. except im still not sure where baby, baby came from. alas.
23.
the cake table was like something out of my dreams--all those beautiful cupcakes all lined up! i loved it. and our little cake was so beautiful. apparently my parents and i had very similar looking cakes, but i had no idea when i was designing mine that it looked like theirs! i must have been subconsciously influenced. it was super good cake, and jed, who doesnt even like cake, liked it. we didnt really smash it, except for we still got messy, anyway.
24.
after that, we delievered cupcakes to people (not just us, but the whole bridal party and our parents). that was fun, too.
25.
around this time, a kid (who's name i didnt even know) started following me around (kindof annoyingly, actually, but i didnt know his name so i couldnt even tell him to go away (after asking if he needed something? and even giving him a hug.) he kept following me, and i kept ignoring him, and eventually he stepped on my bustle and it broke. and being such a mess, i had nothing to fix it with, but someone had a big huge safety pin, thankfully. it didnt want to hold well, though, and so for the rest of the day we were fixing it.
26.
we just talked and laughed with people for a while. it seemed so short, and i know i didnt get to talk to everyone i really wanted to (except for in the big long line).
27.
when it was time to leave, jed and i got to walk through a tunnel of streamers, which was great. a little out of pride and prejudice, which isnt bad. we got back in the old car and drove around the parking lot. then we didnt know what to do, so we came back to the last few minutes of the party. we took pictures with our extended families and stuff. and then more with the bridal party somewhere else and then jed and i went to take a few more pictures at this wonderful old house, where i wanted to have the wedding, if about 300 fewer people were coming.
28.
all in all, it was the most beautiful day. it really was. and we just talked about it for the next 48 hours or so, every little thing we remembered, so we wouldnt forget. so far, so good. it was exactly as i thought it ought to have been, and exactly just like us, and exactly perfect. and we are happy.(!) | | |
| { on getting married }
p.s. i am so blessed.
soooooo blessed! and happy! and overwhelmed! i have almost lost my
head. but in the best possible way. im getting married so soon and i
cant believe it and i should so be asleep right now. alas.
p.s.s. this is for jed, my almost-husband, and my favorite boy forevermore.
i
am sure i have witnessed many minor miracles in my time (as if any
miracles are minor). God provided so wonderfully as we moved to Peoria,
His grace was so evident when we found out daddy had cancer, and I can
see many ways in which He has kept me and given me grace which I do not deserve--not the least of which in making me His child through Christ's sufficient work on the cross.
but,
if you were to ask me if i have ever witnessed any miracles personally,
i would first mention my third-senior semester in college. i
was in Nashville for a journalism conference and i found myself
flipping out in general from, as i recall, pre-graduation (aka
i-have-no-idea-what-i'm-doing-with-my-life!) and from life in
general. as i was walking around a corner downtown there, in the middle
of downtown Nashville and country music and motorcycles and homeless
people and business people and crazy buildings and traffic, i found:
. . . . . a camel.
. . . . . in downtown Nashville.
. . . . . and he had a ring of flowers around his neck.
. . . . . and he had a name: bo the camel.
there
were a bunch of priests and page boys were running around in magenta
instead of white, and this was all happening in front of this
absolutely beautiful episcopalian? [sp?] church, and the animals were
going to church: it was the feast of st. francis, so they were there
for a blessing. and a whole church service. and that makes sense, i
suppose. i always heard that you should never turn down prayers or
blessings, where ever you can get them. kindof like hugs or something.
but once in a while, you just have to turn down hugs, if its sketchy
enough.
i cant explain why this was a terribly important event for me. but it was. it really changed my whole weekend.
perhaps
its something like this: the camel on the sidewalk was completely
unexpected, and the last thing i ever thought i would see in the middle
of Nashville. it was ridiculous and odd and strange. but at the very
same time, there was something very right, and sensible and _wonderful_
about it--of _course_ the camel would be going downtown to church! it
was the feast of St. Francis after all.
the same is true of the
giraffe. the giraffe, according to the article we read together back in
the day, is an odd animal--it doesn't fit into the categories they had
set up previously for animals to fit in. It isn't like any of the other
ones. but it makes us pause, doesn't it?
the article we read
asserted that the giraffe reminds us of playfulness & curiosity,
beauty & personality. In these things, we see evidences and
glimpses of God. Without the grace of God (both general &
specific), all the best things in life would cease to exist--we
wouldn't be able to take pleasure in a perfect sunset, a great meal
shared with our dearest family & friends, or even the smell of
freshly mowed grass, the lights at Christmas or {insert favorite thing
here}. The giraffe is just one more reminder to add to those echoed
throughout all of everywhere--there is a great Savior, and his love is
marvelous, rich and free. It
is a small wonder, i think, that anyone ever gets manages to get
married. everyone is so quirky and strange, not to mention
self-centered, sinful, and not at all prone to forgiveness, kindness,
respect or anything else that makes up true love (in any form). for
anyone to be able to love is an extremely remarkable occurance, and we
know that its only possible because God first loved us. As we love each
other (in a marriage relationship or otherwise), we are also able to
get a clearer picture of God and his lovingcare for us, and our right
response of our submission to him and reverence for him.
[ for the ENGINEERS:
if A=giraffes, and B=God and C=marriage, then A=B, and B=C, then A=C. right? ]
I
suppose that love is like Bo the camel & the giraffes (who don't
have names. but if one was to name a giraffe, what would it be?
George?) I was certainly surprised to learn that i was, quite possibly,
in love and wanted to get married--and even more surprised to learn
that my thoughts on the subject actually coincided with someone else's
thoughts about me--and it was the same person! (you know how hard that
is to do? usually you decide you want to marry someone right about the
time they decide they are madly in love with someone _else_).
(imagine
my bigger surprise, and subsequent freak out when i found out what the
technical name for the giraffe is: giraffia camelopardis. possibly my
two most profound miracles are already connected, by some accident of
science, or whatnot. i know, right? its almost like it was meant to be,
and this scientific, hard-to-pronounce name was the sign. except we
don't believe in signs.
So,
going to the zoo and seeing the giraffes (and camels, although, sad to
say, they do not come with flower chains around their necks in the
wild), will always remind us of these great mysteries. And sitting on
our ghetto porch, learning how to cook together (right, we have no idea
how), taking walks, reading & studying together, having a family,
and sharing all these moments with each other, and everyone else we
love best, and so on and so forth from now and till forevermore
(relatively speaking)--we will have all of these, Lord-willing. And we
will have love, "tru wuv," as the impressive clergyman in princess
bride says. All of these will be our miracles. And all of these things
will remain, in some form or fashion, and the greatest of these is
always love.
| | |
|
well, hello.
its been too long since i have last talked to you
all, and perhaps too long until i have time to do so again. nothing
seems to wait around for me to have time to catch up with it. i shall
try to
I. first things first
i
am getting married (!). i have suspected such for a little while now,
at least since two february-s (ies?) ago, and i have suspected to whom
since about this march; and still i was surprised. funny how that works.
II. the bling
and
i am surprised at the ring, too. its nothing like i would have probably
picked out for myself, but i really love it even though ((like some
other things, come to think of it) (--the boy did good. it even fit.))
i gave him only two pieces of advice on the matter, a long time ago: 1)
it had better be gold and 2) i didnt want it to be so high or whatever
that it caught on everything. he accomplished those two things, and
then some. plus! it sparkles so much. yay.
i was talking to an
eight-year-old and a six-year-old earlier today, and they were asking
me why one gets the pretty ring when you get engaged, and the uglier
one when you get married, because isnt getting married more important?
no one who was around really had much of an answer. i dont really know
myself, but i suppose its a valid question.
picking out the wedding
band was much harder. i think i have found one that i like, and jed
likes though, but its so hard to pick things that youre going to have
to live with for the rest of your life! i am always second-guessing
myself.
III. the story
here
is a link to the engagement story and pictures, just in case you missed
it on facebook, etc. jed seems to have a lingering wish it would have
turned out a smidgin differently, but i think it was perfect, so dont
let anyone tell you otherwise.
IV. what happened next.
we
were so happy afterward. and i dont know when i have ever smiled so
much to date. even the next day, when i was telling the story 34250678
times, i was so happy, and even jed was happy. but then it rather
quickly lost its appeal, for the simple reason that wedding planning is
no fun. it should be, i know. and it shouldnt be complicated, i also
know, especially because i have known about what i have wanted since
about 2 years ago when i started working at wedding banquets as a
server, and then since now i plan a major banquet for a living. but its
much harder when you're 1) spending your own money and 2) there are
people you actually care about involved. that makes everything harder.
and its not like i want something with icescuptures and doves and glass
slippers. i just want something happy and easy and great. you would
think that would be easier to come by, but alas. its not in the cards
for us. (eventually, it might get there, but not anytime soon.) its
hard, and i really hate making people unhappy. i did not expect this,
just as i have not expected most things that have happened in the past year or so.
V. The dress
i
fell in love with a dress on the first day i went major dress shopping.
(the times i went before hand, the people i talked to were just so
ignorant. i knew more about wedding dresses than some of them. how is
that possible?) Anyway, i could zip up this dress, but not breathe in
it. no good. and i couldnt order it, because it takes a million years
to get a wedding dress, apparently. so i searched at every other place
possible and there was nothing. so i went back to the first place to
mourn my loss, and see if there was anything i missed. 20 minutes
before they closed they asked if they had shown me the discontinued
dresses (they hadnt.) i found one super cheap that was perfect and
bought it on the spot. hurray.
VI. the guestlist.
you
see, we had some problems. we know EVERYBODY. and everybody we dont
know, jed is related to. we couldnt not invite mostly everyone (we
spent much time trying), sowe gave up and found the best possible way
to invite everyone. because we couldnt not invite them. (how is it that
so many people like us? thats a little ridiculous. wonderful, (it is
admittedly a very good problem, and we are blessed, but still. its
ridiculous.) and: they're mostly all coming. you may come, also, if you
want.
it was the most traumatic thing EVER to find places for this whole thing to take place. i tell you what.
VII. the plan:
Saturday
morning wedding & brunch reception. we like brunch, but it is
terribly ironic because i am quite far from a morning person. we'll see
how this goes. they keep telling me that i wont have any trouble waking
up (in fact, ill have trouble sleeping for once) but i remain
unconvinced.
the pictures will be after the whole thing. the
family will have to suck it up and stick around if they want pictures.
well, i suppose nonfamily could stick around too, if they want pictures.
hopefully
this wedding will be a conglomeration of the things that we like best
about weddings, and we'll leave out mostly everything we dislike. for
an exhaustive list, email, or perhaps jed and i will write a few posts
together on the subject, as this summer we have been practically
professional wedding attenders, and jed has the usher thing down pat.
we will also have balloons. and windows, and cupcakes and the most delicious chocolates.
VII. the cake!
jed
and i have a little cake for us to eat, and its so cute. more
importantly, its the most delicious white cake/buttercream frosting
with APRICOT filling. so, so delicious. i dont even like apricots that
much, (only the thought of them). we will have white/apricot cupcakes
and chocolate with cream in the middle ones for everyone, and they will
all have a cherry on top. the lady at the cake store asked me what was
up with the cherry, which i think is a silly question, because all the
best, most perfect-looking cupcakes have a cherry on top. sheesh.
VIII. a non-wedding related moment
from summer:
apparently
life is not all bad, especially in summertime. for example, i have
recently discovered something that almost makes me want to stay in the
country for a 100 more summers: fireflies!
i used to think that fireflies were these elusive little bugs, just 2
or 5 of them by your flowerbeds around the house in the evening, or by
the tree, and they were a little teensy bit hard to catch. because
there just werent very many and all that. well, this is not the case in
the country--whole fields are aglow with them, and it is truly a
beautifully breathtaking sight.
work: bleh. bleh,bleh.
everything: i
dont feel like i have enough time for all of this! i want to enjoy
this, and sink it all in, but goodness. ive been running around like a
chicken.
and this is all too hard.
name: i
will miss my old name very much. i think it will be very hard to stop
being julie ----- and change all around to julie _____. i am much more
like a ------- than i am a _____. but i have recieved reassurances that
the new name is a good name, and it sounds all right and all of that,
so perhaps, in time, it will be alright. but awfully weird at first. i
like my name, and i have always thought that my parents did such a nice
job of naming me.
hopefully: after
the wedding, we can get everything nice and organized (i havent started
going through the gifts and things at all (trying to get the last 12
thank you notes from showers done first, so i can make sure i have
everything accounted for!), and we can eat healthier for once, and have
time to read some. also, i would like to be writing more than i have
had a chance to. i found an old poem when i was cleaning out stuff, and
i read it again: it wasnt half bad, surprisingly. (maybe it was, but i
still liked it.) and just having time to hang out together. we have
been soooo busy!
IX.
still, i am so glad for everything:
church, house, job (kindof). sleeping with open windows again, and peach pie, and so on and so forth.
so many people. and especially my family.
and im glad i get to marry jed.
even if it is weird to think about.
the end, (just for tonight.) | | |
|
I am coming to a problem point in the life of my phone. you see, i am running out of room for voicemails.
did you see that story about the old man who is suing the phone company because they accidently lost his voicemails when he got an new phone or something? He had saved on there his wife's recorded greeting and perhaps a message from her. She had passed away a year ago or something and he played the messages everyday, maybe multiple times in order to hear her voice again. he loved her. he missed her. it reminded him of her.
and then the phone company went off and erased it. hes unhappy. understandably so, perhaps. hopefully, they said they could retrieve it and put it onto a cassette or cd for him. that would be a better option, anyway. he could probably skip the suing if he got that.
it might need to be something i look into. my voicemail is quickly filling up. and its because i have to save all these messages from ever ago--but i need them. they remind me of so many things--the sound of your voice. what i thought about when such-and-such happened. how things were back then. how things are now, and that really, its not even almost all bad. And some of the messages just flat out make me so happy, or even make me absolutely giggle.
so i cant erase them, you see. but i cant exactly continue at the rate im going. does anyone know a way around this?
Also, i am coming to a problem point in my career, perhaps. about a week ago, i was in the shower (where most of the best thoughts inveribly come to you--when you have no place to write them down. do they make shower-wall-pens-that-dont-wash-out-till-later?) and i decided that my current job wasnt working for me (actually, i had been pondering that for a while.) but the meetings, the regimented schedule, the dress code, the enormous responsibility. these are not words that really fit in with my way of life, you know?? i decided that the thing i really want to be is a nurse.
not kidding.
the reasons for this are many-fold.
1. awesome dress code.
2. i would get to talk to all kinds of amazing people. and hear their stories.
3. desks wouldnt be a part of my life. neither would the kinds of meetings i usually get in on here.
4. i am great in emergencies. great.
5. ever since i learned about cells, i've had a total thing for medicine. i am a sucker for cells, you see.
6. good benefits/pay
7. flexible schedule. i dont even think i mind the night thing, and plus, i would only have to work like 3-4 days a week. awesome.
8. nurses are always needed.
9. there is plenty of scope for the imagination. i think heather and renee actually subplanted this thought in my head with their recent anne of green gables marathon, even though i, unfortunately, couldnt be present. plus, also, ive been reading emily of new moon lately. thats close enough. the whole "soothing fever brows, and a rich patient carrying you off with him to the mediterranian" is drastically appealing. im done with cold.
10.my mother and grandmother were also nurses. i wouldnt want to quit the family tradition.
11. plus, i would just be a really awesome nurse.
the cons are:
1. i dont like throw-up.
2. not exactly trained for it. and dont have the more money required for school.
3. everytime ive mentioned it thus far to anyone, they've laughed their heads off. not sure why.
see? i think all signs point to the fact that i should be a nurse, definately. oh well. we shall see, wont we?
(what is the past tense of "shall"???)
im sitting at work right now, actually, and the boy is asleep in my chair, the one all the way across my cubicle. its a good 3 feet away. (i got the luxury office. haha. its really not so bad except for the grayness of it and the no windows thing. oh, and the i-can-hear-everything-going-on-ever thing. i have added a bit to it, which im sure seems strange to the others that work here, but i could not do positively any work without it, and its hard enough to do it as it is.) its a perfect saturday, except for 1) its not quite warm enough 2) there are no windows and 3) i am sitting at work, surrounded by piles of baby bottles and camoflauge silent auction items for the clay shoot. there is a part of work i know nothing--absolutely nothing about, i tell you. why anyone would want to pay a bazillion dollars to come shoot fake orange things? men. geh.
which reminds me: the lady who trained me here told me if things ever got too hard, then i could just get married and have a baby. that way i could quit, but they wouldnt hate me for it. im thinking about taking her up on that advice. i dont quite know how to decide about such, though. i overanalyze, perhaps!
i have been reading again what our mothers didnt tell us, by danielle crittendon. if youre a girl, or guy, i suppose, read it. it has changed my life. seriously.
i also need some more good music to listen to.
speaking of fake orange things, have i ever mentioned that i dont like oranges? i dont. or orange juice. my mother told me i couldnt go to college until i learned to like orange juice, because that is a life skill, but i managed to get there anyway, without liking it. also, lately, i have been drinking real cow's milk--like straight from a cow with no inbetween steps. dont worry, its cold, though. i have had two different kinds (one from the next town over, which actually, i think was transplanted from kentucky, and the other kind from wisconsin.) i actually like the wisconsin kind better, but they both taste just like milk. except, i guess its way better for you. so says jed. it is one of the ironies of life that the boy is so incredibly health conscious, and i am so incredibly....not. but shoot, if i can get some highly necessary-change-your-life-omega-something-or-other that will dramatically impact and improve my health by doing something that i love and would doing anyway? im all for it. (if you want to dramatically change your health and life, too, ill give you his email address because he knows how or something.)
also, for the next month or something (Starting yesterday) we will have 11-12 people living in my house. all my extra makeup has already been commendeered to play princesses. these girls are crazy. they even have their own made up languages and writing and back-stories. back-stories! im so glad they have that. my bestfriend was a great back-storier, and that changed my life, too. but its a good thing that most mornings im too tired to put on any makeup except the mostest absoultely necessary. alas. maybe when i get to be a princess ill take up eyeliner once again--a luxury most of us can ill afford, i'd say. | | |
|
i had the best breakfast almost of my life the other week.
i wouldnt necessarily say its better than eggs and grits and buscuits and gravy, etc., (homemade or wafflehouse!) or better than a cinnamon roll and hashbrown from mcdonalds, or even french toast and breakfast potatoes at perkins at 11p.m., because those things are good (and some of my absolute favorites), and they have their place.
my breakfast consisted of:
-- a boiled egg (in one of those cool egg dishes.)
-- ham
-- fresh bread and butter
-- a banana
-- chocolate dip for the banana
-- hot chocolate and water
it was so good! i think it was for three reasons:
1. it was fresh and simple and not complicated.
2. it has all necessary things that you love most, and is reasonably healthy: protein, carbs, fruit, chocolate.
3. it is reproduceable.
in fact, i am reproducing it right now. im multi-tasking! and eating a boiled egg (with the outside of the yolk turned grey, which is really the only way i like the yolk.) and a quarter of a gondola, half a banana and some truffle kisses. (so good.) and i am happy about this.
why dont we live like that --all the time?
{2.20.08}
of course, that was 3 weeks ago, and the original even longer ago than that.
we dont live like that because it is hard to keep up, i think.
today for lunch, for example, i will probably eat peanut butter and jelly (the peanut butter will have omega-3 fatty acids artificially added, because i feel guilty not being healthy enough. i think the bread is smushed. also, i plan on having popcorn (and m&ms---individual sized bags are awesome.) because i've been wanting that. This is the time of year that i want popcorn constantly. unexplainably.
it is warm outside today. this is a change that i welcome. which is a rare enough event.
i think i should try to write on this everyday. i think that i will plan to do this at lunch. i have decided that it is more productive for me not to leave the building if i can help it. although, once its quite warm outside, i plan on walking down to the downtown courthouse square and listening to the provided (and often sketchy) lunch music. plus, its exercise that way. two birds with one stone, no?
even once it gets warmer i might even just want to sit outside and not do a single thing but look at the clouds. i dont do that enough.
nevermind. i just heard there was pizza downstairs for lunch, which i will probably eat instead of the pb&j on squishy bread. goodbye, omega-3s. and smushy bread. i have heard this about pizza: that even when its bad, its good. and also, that you generally cant have too much of it.
although, the pizza does throw off the popcorn plan.
i need to write on here more. i feel tooo smushed under everything. i will use this to remember what is beautiful in this town (if there is such a thing)and in this life (that is here, just hiding). ((( keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise, i suppose.))) also, does the beauty outweigh everything else? its hard to say.
i was looking in my notebook just now to see if i had thought of any other gems that i had forgotten about. not really, but i found these two:
1. "Could love have ensued out of order and perfection? maybe. but
probably not."
2. "cluelessness is the mother of invention."
once, in first grade, i tried every concievable way to spell "once." (ALSO---excellent movie. i finally saw it, and i fell in love with it.) ones, wonce~who knows what all i wrote. my teacher was standing over my shoulder and told me all my ways were wrong, helped me erase them, and let me *finally* figure out the best way (i just wrote the best way to spell it??!?!? i meant the *only* way) to spell it. and i have never forgotten how since. | | |
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